Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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