i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
