Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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