Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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