Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
