I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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