you would pick up someone in the library
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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