You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
