He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
