Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
