"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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