McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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