She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
