Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize