It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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