the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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