the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
