i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
