I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize
