Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
