Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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