We got so high we made milksteak
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
