This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
