I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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