he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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