I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize