I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.