FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?