it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
