I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he thought i was a dude.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
