I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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