My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
