some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
