now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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