epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize