I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
