I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
