the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
