She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
