sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
