Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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