i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
