I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
