i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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