Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I want her autograph on my taint
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
