So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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