a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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