I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
