OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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