oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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