fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
