I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
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He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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