no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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