You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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