I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
