you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
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In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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