nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
