Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
