Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
