Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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