Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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