My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
