I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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