So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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