I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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