Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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