sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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